5 Reasons You Let Others Treat You Badly

Are you a doormat? Or have you had someone tell you that you're a doormat, but to your shock and dismay? Unfortunately, a lot of people aim to please others rather than focus on themselves. And people pleasers often find themselves becoming doormats.

When you go out of your way to do everything for everyone, some people see it as a sign of weakness and will treat you poorly in response. If you're not sure why you let others treat you badly, there are five big reasons.

I Can Fix Them

A lot of doormats fall into the trap of believing they are capable of understanding the person who treats them poorly. Or worse, they believe they are capable of fixing them. If someone treats you poorly and you convince yourself you understand them, you are giving them permission to keep treating you poorly.

Everyone else warned you to avoid them, but you kept on keeping on, convinced that you could see something in them nobody else could. You were wrong and refusing to see that will keep you trapped in this cycle.

There is also a common problem where you might see the potential in them and believe that you are capable of teasing it out of them. But when they repeatedly treat you poorly, it doesn't matter what type of potential they hold – they're dragging you down and preventing you from reaching your full potential, and that's what really matters. It doesn't matter how much patience or compassion you possess; it isn't your job to help them change.

You Focus On The Positive

There is a lot to be said about cultivating a positive mindset, but you have to be wise enough to recognize when you're engaging in toxic positivity. And if you look at someone who treats you poorly and try to focus on the positives, you will stay trapped in misery.

Even the worst person can provide moments of joy. Don't let fleeting glimpses of happiness keep you stuck in the cycle. While it's nice to see the best in others, you have to be realistic.

You Make Excuses

It's really tempting to look for excuses as to why someone treats you poorly. You don't really believe they're just a disrespectful, mean, and uncaring person – they're just really stressed right now or dealing with the aftermath of a difficult childhood.

There might be reasons to explain someone's behavior, but unless they are taking active steps to change it, you need to stop making excuses. The more excuses you make for someone who treats you poorly, the more poorly they will treat you.

Confirming Beliefs

One of the biggest reasons is what you believe about yourself. If you believe you're not good enough or stupid or unworthy, then you will allow the people around you to treat you that way.

There's something terrible about people, we just can't help but be our own worst enemies. And sometimes, it isn't enough that we're our own worst enemy, we need other people to confirm our incorrect beliefs. It's hard to break out of the cycle when you're convinced it's what you deserve.

You're Afraid To Give Them Up

This is often the biggest reason – you are too scared to be alone, so you stick with this person who treats you terribly. Or, in a professional capacity, you're too afraid to take the risk and move to a new job so you stick with a bad boss who treats you badly and pays you terribly.

You can't create change until you realize that you deserve respect, and you can't come to that conclusion without first building your own self-respect.

Tina Rose

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Empowerment & Transformation Academy